Seems obvious, but I’ll just say it: All the Spoilers Ahead.
I saw The Avengers: Age of Ultron on Thursday night at 10:00, and I basically spent the whole day before that feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve. I fondly remember seeing the first Avengers on opening night, spending the whole movie feeling like it was Christmas. Joss Whedon pulled off the amazing magic trick of giving me everything I wanted but didn’t even know I could ask for.
So when Ultron started I had the same sensation as a kid pulling off the wrapping paper. Like most Christmases, I got a lot of things I wanted and few things I didn’t. I’m sure I’ll do a more critical watch of the movie later, because was this a perfect movie? No. Did it feel a little scattered and rushed and unfocused? Sure. But did I leave it giddy and happy? You betcha. So brace yourselves for spoilers, don’t let the haters get you down, and bask in the Whedon afterglow with me in my countdown of 10 Moments the Avengers felt like Christmas.
- The Star Wars trailer before it.
Ok. This is cheating, but OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD ON THE BIG SCREEN.
- I love a Robot (Not that robot)
I didn’t realize how attached I’d gotten to the disembodied voice that is JARVIS until he “died.” I mean, he’s been with us since MCU day one. He’s the kind, humorous, constant in Iron Man’s universe. And frankly, I was way more upset by his death than by the actual death of Quicksilver.
- Hulktasha
This will be controversial, but I loved most of it. I loved seeing Natasha in love, but still putting her work first. I loved seeing the Hulk being much more in control of the rage because of her. And I squeed at being one step closer to the giant-people-carrying-little-people dream that I’d been harboring since the days of Ginger Haze’s early fan doodles. So come at me bro.
- Science Bros
As much as I like Banner and Natasha, the Banner relationship I really care about is between him and Tony. There’s an entire blog post I will write some day about how science buddies is literally my favorite type of relationship in fiction. But suffice it to say, watching Stark and Banner bicker like an old married couple is exactly what I wanted.
- “Multiplying Like Catholic Rabbits”
Fury’s line, Whedon’s wordplay. I’m adding it to the “things I say now” list.
- The Helicarrier’s Triumphant Return
Sure, part of my brain was screaming “Who the fuck gave Fury back the flying death machines?” But 99% of my brain was screaming REDEMPTION!!!!
- All things Scarlet Witch
Do I have a new favorite Avenger? Quite possibly. Sure her power are indicative of the scary world of unclear narrative rules and magic-heavy powers we’re entering. But goddam is she cool. Everyone else is suiting up and prepping for the big battle and she’s just standing there all nonchalant like “I can kill you with my brain,” and her brother’s like “at least bring a jacket.” Adorbs. She’s River Tam but less bonkers, and that’s just shiny with me.
- The Hammer’s Grading Rubric
So everyone saw the clip of the party scene that got released months ago. And it included the moment where most of the Avengers try lifting Thor’s hammer. And I enjoyed it, but I was a little worried. I mean, macho boys being macho boys feels like a one-note joke to me. But the moment was charming and had great payoff. I loved seeing Cap budge the hammer, that worthy son of a –LANGUAGE! But mostly I loved that it set us up for the magic moment where The Vision grabbed that hammer like it wasn’t even a thing. PAYOFF.
- Hawkeye Lays It Out
Hawkeye got a lot more to do in this movie, but by far one of my favorite moments of the whole thing was during the chaotic final battle where Hawkeye gives Wanda Maximoff the most realistic pep talk ever. The gist is basically “We’re on a flying city fighting killer robots and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. But do it anyway.” It’s exactly why these movies are completely ridiculous and completely endearing, all in a deadpan nutshell.
1. Whedon Theatre Jokes
Joss Whedon can have my heart forever if he just keeps making jokes that make my theatre nerd heart sing. Last time his “Shakespeare in the Park” crack had me giggling for days. This time it was “This day has been long. Like, Eugene O’Neil long.” So here’s my heart Joss. I look forward to the next time you break it.
Nerd Academy 