Prerequisites: Superman

While there are many actors that become identified with a character, perhaps the most iconic pair is Christopher Reeve and Superman. For years I had heard that Mr. Reeve was the definitive Superman, and now I know why. Watching him in the 1978 Superman, you can see this was the role he was born to play. From his incredible chin to his ability to make cheesy lines sound sincere, Christopher Reeve IS Superman.

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Now that I’ve stated the obvious, this movie was a lot of fun. I sat down to watch it with several good friends and would highly recommend that method. Frankly, I went into this movie expecting some serious 70s cheese. I was not disappointed, but I also found that several parts of the movie rose above kitsch and were truly endearing.

The movie begins on Superman’s home planet Krypton with his father Jor-El fighting to stop the planet’s destruction. The entire sequence is bizarre. First there’s the very existence of Marlon Brando as Jor-El, which is one of those truly strange and magical casting choices that keeps on giving. Then there’s the questionable decision to spend the first few moments of the movie setting up the exile of General Zod, a plot point that does not feature into the movie at all. (I’ve been told it’s setup for the sequel). Then there’s the whole sending Superman to earth in a giant ice crystal spaceship while his planet dies around him sequence which is delightfully cheesy and strange.

From there the movie becomes less WTF and more charming. Superman’s upbringing as Clark Kent is adorable. Then he goes to Metropolis and meets Lois Lane, who is THE BEST. I loved Margot Kidder as Lois Lane pretty hard. I expected a fair amount of old-fashioned sexism, but this Lois Lane is smart, intense, and dedicated to her job. She can’t spell worth a damn, but she’s still determined to get the scoop and be the best journalist in Manhattan. I mean Metropolis.

Of course, her interactions with Superman are still frequently cringe worthy. The Peter Pan-esque scene where he takes her flying is truly ridiculous. But I also found a lot that was endearing about their relationship and Lois’s attempt to keep everything as professional as she can. Frankly, I found Kidder’s Lois Lane more fun and just as empowered or evolved as the Lois Amy Adams is playing in the current franchise.

As much as I was surprised by how impressed I was by Lois Lane, I was equally surprised at how lame Gene Hackman was as Lex Luthor. In modern superhero movies there seems to be a deep distrust of the heroes themselves, so the emphasis has shifted to creating more and more intense and interesting villains. This is not that. Gene Hackman is from the cartoonishly incompetent school of villain. He makes Jack Nicholson in Batman look scary.

There were moments of the movie I loved. Some, like Lois interviewing Superman, I loved for what they were. Some I loved because I watched this movie with friends and could laugh at the inconsistencies and ridiculousness. My favorite moment? When Superman delivers a boat full of villains to the police station, one friend said “Wait, that boat is named Serenidy. With a d.” Another friend quipped “Lois Lane named that boat.”

My recommendation? Get some friends and some pizza and enjoy this movie for the cheesy, iconic, super-fun, kitschy mess that it is.

Superman Showdown: Let’s Talk Trailer

So the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice trailer came out this weekend.  Their timing sucked because all I wanted to do was watch the Star Wars trailer and feel all the feelings. But my timing was good because I watched the trailer within hours of reading Mark Millar’s Superman: Red Son. So when I turned on the trailer and they spend the first minute talking about how maybe everyone worshiping a super-alien from the sky is maybe not the best plan, I thought to myself “didn’t I just read this? And wasn’t that better?”

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Red Son takes one giant what-if and runs with it: what if Superman had crash-landed in the USSR instead of the US of A? The book follows the rise and eventual fall of Soviet Superman. He starts out idealistic and out to spread the ideals of communism. But of course his power grows, corrupts, and goes to his head. He ends up President and Dictator of Russia and the world. He runs the world perfectly, but Lex Luthor and the USA still oppose him, along with an awesome Soviet-style Batman.

Eventually Superman realizes that in trying to run a perfect world, he has actually destroyed freedom. He leaves the planet and humanity to our own devices and calls it a day.

Now clearly Batman v Superman is trying to set up a similar idea. No matter how great a person is, if they have all the power, that’s just not going to end well. But somehow I enjoyed the heck out of Red Son, but was bored to death by the BVSDJ (seriously how long is this damn name?) trailer. Perhaps a list will explain it:

Things the Trailer Got Wrong and Red Son Got Right

  1. Attitude is everything, and like many comic book movies, I think Batman v Superman is trying too damn hard. Red Son is telling a serious story, but acknowledges that it’s playing with a fun premise. There’s plenty of fun to be had sneaking in alternate-universe versions of Superman standards. Batman v Superman doesn’t seem to know what fun is. The movie seems to be trying so hard to be dark and gritty that it’s off-putting. There’s a reason that after watching the trailer I cleansed my palate by watching the Age of Ultron trailer – the Avengers make me happy, not just angsty.
  2. Showing vs Telling. This is a big one. The mantra for screenwriters is Show, don’t Tell, and there’s a reason for that. This trailer just tells us that Superman might be a problem. It never shows us why. Really all it shows us is a statue, Superman lifting a car over his head, and a bit of flying. Gee, how evil? I mean, the Super-guard seem a little suspicious, but they’ve got nothing on the brainwashed former dissidents turned Super-robots in Red Son. Now that’s evil.
  3. A Reason for the Season. Some of this criticism isn’t fair because I’m comparing a 2 minute trailer and a full graphic novel. But life isn’t fair. If you’re going to pit two of the world’s greatest superheroes against each other, I want a good reason for it. In Red Son it’s because Superman’s crony murders Batman’s parents. That’s a good reason. As far as I can tell from the trailer, Batman just has anger management issues. Also, in Red Son we get Soviet Batman.

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  1. Give me my goddam Wonder Woman. ‘Nuff said here. Red Son gives me alternate Soviet Wonder Woman. Batman v Superman has promised me Wonder Woman and so far showed me nothing. Let’s be honest. I don’t care until I get Diana.

How about you, what will it take for Batman v Superman to have your interest?

Ryan North Subtitles For Everyone!

I knew I had curated an excellent set of comic book subscriptions when a couple of months ago I went in to pick up my latest issues and the sales guy at my comic book store said “Have you heard of The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl?

You guys. Ryan North (beloved for Midas Flesh and Dinosaur Comics) is writing a Marvel comic about a college student named Darlene who can talk to squirrels and has never been beaten in a fight. That’s basically my Christmas wish list. And it fits perfectly into my ideal niche of “spazzy teenage girls with superpowers who kick butt.” So obviously I’m reading it. And obviously I think it’s the greatest thing since acorns.

The icing on this perfect cake is that about halfway through the first issue I realized that in tiny, almost white print, Ryan North was providing a hilarious running commentary on the action. Apparently he also does these subtitles in his Adventure Time books, and they are pure brilliance. I love them so much, that I now believe every comic book should have them. Since I’m pretty sure Ryan is busy, I took the liberty of imagining what that beautiful world would look like. Enjoy:

Ms. Marvel #1 By: G. Willow Wilson  Art By: Adrian Alphona

Ms Marvel Fave Page“Cap named that goldfish Bucky. Tony named his sloth-mutant Cupcake the Destroyer.”

Captain America: Winter Soldier By: Ed Brubaker Art By: Steve Epting, Michael Lark

Winter Soldier Comic

“Later, at karaoke: “If yooooou don’t know me by noooooow. You will never never never know me””

 Superman: Red Son By: Mark Millar Art By: Dave Johnson, Kilian Plunkett, Andrew Robinson, Walden Wong

Red Son Spread

“Imagine a tiny Communist Superman. With his adorable forelock and his tiny sickle-shaped raddle that he’s just harvested a whole field with. Who could be jealous of that?”

Watchmen By: Alan Moore Art By: Dave Gibbons

Watchmen Agents

“And at one o’clock all the detectives. And at 2 o’clock all the fishmongers. And at three o’clock all the ventriloquists.”

Saga By: Brian K. Vaughan Art By: Fiona Staples

Saga the Stalk

“What do you even call that? Spider-gina? A Vag-der? Arachnivag? I’m going with Arachnivag.”